Blogma '09

In the history of film there have been a number of notable manifestos issued by a group of film makers to 'identify' their view or mode of operation to the visual craft of film. Dogma '95 probably being the most recent, overt and discussed (I'm happy to be informed otherwise). I won't bore you with the many such film manifestos by German Expressionists, Soviets or Surrealist, truly I won't. However, I am going to file my own manifesto in the name of blogging to put a stop to lazy marketing and PR.


1. I will not respond to any emails asking me to post information - Please don't send me a 'this may be of interest to ....' Invariably this means you have emailed without proper investigation. I usually commit because I'm an easy going person having worked in marketing and PR I know the pressure, needs etc. Hence why I'm putting a blogma/dogma to protect me from boring my readers or being a weak lily livered blogger. Desist at once, I am.


2. Proper invites to fashion events are welcome - these could be academic forums, general talks or actual fashion shows of whatever form. To help you (marketing assist, PR assist, intern etc.) assess the relevance of my blog the age demographic is mainly 25+, with a higher 35 - 50 aged readership (this is derived as a result of comments, me being nosey and guesswork). I work as a stylist so attend certain events but I'm not high profile as I have petit garcon and like Phoebe Philo would never put my work before him.

gratuitous photo of the garcon

3. I have no affinity to a brand or shop - I am independent. Yes I do have a my-wardrobe.com advert and therefore a fiscal affinity to it but I genuinely like the fact of diversity for the internet shopper and Net-a-Porter and My-wardrobe as well as ASOS are the only truly pure internet shopping businesses in the UK. Lots of peeps have Net, a few have ASOS, I'm encouraging competition and potentially choice with my-wardrobe. I was asked politely and I said yes. If you do click via my link and then purchase I will eventually get a percentage, that's how it works. If you as readers considered it an affront or wanted it to go I would bow to public pressure. The blog is for my writing not making money. The other advert is to alert UK readers to sale items. I move it up and down according to the time of year it is - currently sale season. My independence is no longer for sale see 1 but I am open to invitations see 2.

4. I always aim to keep readers entertained and informed - according to my editorial viewpoint. Given this viewpoint is wide and eclectic don't expect consistency. Do expect a critical analysis of the fashion industry, social trends and other matters. I am not surreal or ironic or convoluted.

5. I will ramble at times - so what, this is a wonderful liberation from deadlines, editors, sub editors and the formality of office/work politics.

That's enough blogma/dogma but in the true spirit of revolutionary thought I can be bought no more. I am above corruption - did you hear me Mr Lagerfeld!

Paper pants begone!

It's not everyday a stranger offers to send you silk knickers and certainly not ones enriched with shea butter! But who am I to say no...

The silk pants in question are a special edition designed by Ayten Gasson for Andrex and what a collaboration. It is in conjunction with the launch of Andrex's new luxury toilet tissue made with shea butter - incredible! I'm amazed at how a bog standard product can be diversified into a luxury moment with ones intimate absolution's. Hey ho!

However, the Andrex/Ayten collaboration is also in aid of raising money for the charity Look Good Feel Better, a workshop programme taking place in hospitals with cancer treatment patients.

Now did anyone elses mother make you wear paper pants on overseas journeys as a child, or am I the only adult with such a memory of being made to wear them!

Special edition £10 silk knickers on sale from Andrex or Bordello

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll chop your bl**dy finger off!

When Sister Wolf observed the blogger pose de jour (hand to face pose) she uttered her outrage and decreed a No Hand to Face Pose ban.

Well in defiance or is that mockery of the ban, myself and the petit garcon decided to commit the offense in a moment of Sunday boredom.

High Street pick of the week

I'm currently into orange in a big way although my current obsession seemed a bit silly when I contemplated cutting the head off one of the many marigolds I planted. I selected the orange ones but a rouge yellow head appeared yesterday spoiling my YSL palette!

Therefore my pick of the high street is for those of you going on a mini-break (doesn't that sound sooo Bridget Jones!). If you're jetting off to Ibiza, hitting Cornwall or just visiting the parents arrive in style with this bright number.

It's orange and has a great new fashion forward (again sooo Grazia copy last year) style given it's boxy shape.

If you're feeling more subdued there's a black version available at M&S for £89

Moi, I'll be staying at home tending to plants and brushing up on my copy writing skills.

PS. The luggage problems at T5 are another good reason to invest in carry on and capsule wardrobe!http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8123273.stm

Ben, the two of us need look no more...

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightening they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a gree bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sung the sun in flight,

And learn too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

R.I.P

Farah Fawcett 1947 -2009

Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

Poem: Dylan Thomas 1914 -1953

Pictures: BBCi

For Good Measure

I spent a lot of time last week randomly measuring women's bust measurements! It started because I noted one of the nursery nurses was wearing an ill fitting bra and as she is pregnant I was on the case immediately. The only way I could remember to bring my tape measure when picking up petit garcon was to wear it round my neck, draped in a good old fashioned dressmaker way. Invariable I conducted a few at nursery, a couple in the park and one for the neighbour in her drive.

The tape measure prompted a dialogue and it reminds me of the poster on the 3rd floor in Selfridges bra department '90% of women are wearing the wrong bra'. Shocking as that statistic is, it's true. I can tell at ten paces that someone is wearing the wrong bra, even when I see posted photos on your blogs, I'll always make a mental measurement and conclude 9 times out of 10 - wrong bra size!

Then Susie Bubble posted a great piece on flaming bras and I love the treatment and experimentation with lace bras. However, Susie made a remark about endowment and not always needing to wear a bra. Now even when I was flat chested I always wore a bra - okay 28AA isn't a size to remark upon but from an early age I was obsessed with the bust area. I noted shapes, stretch marks and how the bust looked in clothes. I made sure I found out which exercises improved the bust, splashed cold water on in a daily ritual and bought special cream. If I wasn't so busy and currently surviving on a paltry income, I'd be using the present tense. I intend to draw up a fitness routine soon to get me focused again as I've been slacking of late.

The point of detailing my obsession is ...I can say that I've survived the ravages of pregnancy, age and lifestyle abuse (I was a bit rock and roll once!) with firm breasts in tack, although I still fondly look back at 28AA now I'm a 30E.

E cup sounds dramatic but if my back was broader then my cup size would be smaller. Also cup size is dependent on the measurement from breast bone to under the armpit. I'm wider at front so a DD would cut in, to soon. I tend to assess correct bra size by tape measurement, (only ever a guidance) the eye and of course fit with differing bras. And it is the correct fitting plus support of your breast tissue that helps keep the bust area in good shape. Unless you are pancake flat like a boy then you do need to wear a bra because after a while the elasticity of the skin alters. What was once a pert pair of small breast becomes sock like and downward pointing. Keep 'em contained!

Last year I touched upon this obsession after treating myself to a fitting and new bras. My favourite purchase was a purple number with matching knickers by Sexy Panties and Naughty Knickers - imagine Mr MDS's joy when S.P.A.N.K was written on my underwear. And guess what I hadn't figured it out when I bought them.

Nice brightly coloured bras and in a range of cup sizes are hard to come by, so I was very pleased when S.P.A.N.K sent me their new collection and was particularly taken with a bright blue offering.

Nancy Bra and Pants

I love bras being on display and share a Patricia Field need to flaunt bra wearing. I don't see bras as unobtrusive numbers unless you need to create that look. I watch Mad Men for Joan's perfectly positioned pair in under garment upholstery that I adore. Equally I'm a fan of that French boudoir, louche, almost courtesan underwear apparel.

Viva Nighty Knickers

The softness of Sexy Panties bras is second to none and their hot pink bra is on my wish list. Stocked in Selfridges, Topshop and Figleaves in the UK plus Barneys and Bendels in the US - in A to FF cups. Make sure you get yourself a good bra fitting soon!

Bloggers going up and being first...

Well, I'm not so sure there is such a thing as ever being first with views, creatives and so on but certainly one can be part of a forward movement. There is no doubt that bloggers are a van guard of new issues relating to fashion and top tips (in the fashion blogging sphere - I can't comment on other areas of interest).

When I sat down on Sunday to my favourite half hour of the day, the moment when I get to read Style magazine - don't worry I've fed the family, done the dishes and wiped petit garcon's face clean (just in case the Daily Mail lot read this blog) - imagine my joy to find not one but two of my little blog bits in their Going Up/Going Down on page 5 of the magazine. Go on indulge me!

KNOTTED SHIRTS A new lease of life for all your old shirts. It's this season's rolled sleeves - I draw attention to my piece http://makedostyle.blogspot.com/2009/02/performance.html - pictures of my knotted shirt number for self styled photo shoot in February this, plus I mentioned this in a previous post but even I can't reread all my posts to find where (note to self, label better)!

MAC FACE AND BODY FOUNDATION Legs like uncooked turkey drumsticks. This is your genie in the bottle - My piece - http://makedostyle.blogspot.com/2009/06/short-shrift.html where I say get Mac Face and Body Foundation to put on your legs!

Anyway the validation for blogging is hardly something that needs to be justified anymore but at least you know your getting some of it here first!

Kate knows good knotted shirts

YSL bedding inspiration

Yesterday I needed to plant some new flowers and my selection was based on a very YSL of old palette, I decided to mix orange and pink only, it looks perfectly proper, very this season almost like a Richard Nicoll S/S09 dress.

Richard Nicoll Spring 09 Style.com

I carried on my YSL inspiration taking France and the potted plants and painted walls of Brittany to create my very own homage in another corner of the garden.

Freshly painted fence with B&Q's exterior paint in Sage Moss

Oh my baby!

I had pondered about gadding about taking photos in flowing robes with my own interpretation of Hermia in celebration of today being the longest day of the year. How I would have loved to have been sat at The Globe to watch a performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, a play I never tire of although The Winter's Tale is my favourite Shakespeare play.

Instead I had a number of chores to attend to which prevented dressing up, mainly of the house and garden. Meanwhile the petit garcon nipped off to the barber's with his papa and came back shorn!

What hast thou done?

Mr MDS has been playing Puck with my little ones locks!

High Street pick of the week

I'm a fairly conservative dresser with a dash of occasional quirkiness thrown in. By conservative I mean I'd salivate over Bogatta Veneta before Balmain. Would choose a Chanel jacket over any current 'must have' etc.

I prefer a chic cap sleeve tee over vests as I'm scarred by past visions of J'adore Dior vests with jeans and heels, not due to personal faux pas but being surrounded by the look at one point. However I do like a vest tee substitute to wear with jeans or shorts for a summer casual off duty look with ease and this find at Warehouse mid week fitted the bill.

Asymmetric Zip Vest £28 Warehouse

PS. The sales at Selfridges are going well as I discovered when I had my other personal styling client yesterday. If you are Halston fan then you can pick up something with a 60% reduction!

Bags of Power

Nothing beats an Anya Hindmarch in my book. Yes I might love and admire, in fact covert a Chanel 2.55. I wouldn't say not to a Prada or two, plus I'm quite partial to few others but my serious gazing is always reserved for a Hindmarch.

I was quite overcome with a grown up urge to possess this Grey Sylvia Boxy bag it would make me almost glide amongst the crowds. There are a lot of crowds currently in London - half of Europe has descended to shop, eat and take in a gallery or two! I need a good bag to distinguish my very being. I feel boxy bags are the future.

Selfridges starts sale scurry!

Shoe prices have been slashed at Selfridges. I was only there as one of my lovely clients needed to get some clothes and so discovered there was a mix of normal stock and prices in some concessions and extreme slashing in others.

We got a lovely Paul Smith black dress down from £270 to £135 and she tried on a fabulous Thakoon number down from £980 to £440 but the Paul Smith suited her better. There were glorious Matthew Williamson dresses also reduced by 50%. Lots of concessions are still at full price but Toast has already gone sale mad on the 3rd floor and the online sale doesn't start for a week. The shoe department is a complete frenzy, Prada was cordoned off with only so many allowed in at one time - bonkers. Particularly as Christian Louboutin's were sat alongside Lanvin, Alaia Azzedine to name a few without a cordoning off in sight.

If you fancy climbing up on the shoe ladder then now is the time to snag some bargains. Moi - well I'm on a budget (zero) and attempting to sort through the mess on a styling session is pointless unless it was specifically a sale one. We hot footed it to Russell & Bromley for some gorgeous gladiators and a pair of tributes to 'Tributes'.

Now my client also gave me the best story of the day in the world of bad publicity. Now this is not the Hogggate that poor Susie Bubble had the misfortune to suffer, but how to make your husband think your stylist is a nightmare. True, I mentioned to said client that it would be better to have more wardrobe space so she could hang all her clothes together but I didn't expect this to result in a house MOVE! Can you imagine the curses muttered by the husband about the 'bl**dy stylist' - hey I'm innocent in this.

Seriously, their house is being viewed tomorrow morning and they are viewing another one with an intent to buy too. See I told you girlynomics would save the world (even though this is extreme girlynomics!). When the housing market gets going again you'll know who helped it along....

Girlynomics Part deux

images from the wonderful Delicious Industries

Continued....

In fact girlynomics is guilt free as long as you are in credit. Credit, therein lies the but. When there is a shift in income and expenditure your buying power is reduced. If your mortgage or rent is increased, if food costs more and petrol prices remain high; you need to make some changes or revisions. Something has to give. This calls for harnessing the power of girlynomics with a dash of good old fashioned make do and mend. Make do and mend is another ingredient in the girlynomics monetary bible. It gives you an opportunity to make savings to gain treats. The difference between girlynomics make do and mend and frugulism is, although you might have to be creative and you might have to make an effort with your money; you don’t have to deny yourself.

Take a small example, a £7.99 pair of faux leopard peep toe flats in H&M. You want these, well revise your lunchtime budget or coffee habit and you free up the money to buy the flats. Alternatively you can walk away and still save the money to add to your pot towards a bigger slice of fashion fun!

Three times this week I've tried something on and got the fab feeling but have stepped away every time as I'm saving my money for the Autumn. You can look at the blogosphere to get inspiration and try out a similar look with your own items. Being creative saves pennies(cents) which creates pounds(dollars).

Come on add your tips to encourage a girlynomics mindset.

Girlynomics Part un

Why Girlynomics? What is Girlynomics?

Girlynomics is a mindset. It is a mindset that determines spending patterns and it belongs almost exclusively to women. It is how women justify their spending.

In simple terms this translates to by foregoing on a few items to get one biggie. It is the redistribution of personal income and the formula is simply expressed as 3x =y.
Where x = 3 bottles of pinot grigio and y = a chilled bottle of champagne.
(Cava doesn’t count). The formula is metaphysical, the thought process mentally calculates what could have been bought, what wasn’t and what can be bought instead. The values are approximates and not fixed, this dispenses with any requirement for a calculator enabling abstract ‘rounding up’.

It is the women who goes to the library and saves £13.98 on buying two books for her holiday. Feeling smug having managed to snag two holiday books for free she falls into a girlynomics trap. What is a girlynomics trap - well it's that rationale that defies the considered economic minds such as John Maynard Keynes and Milton Friedman.
It's the place in your mind that considers the wonderful savings made and instead of a good old pat on the back, a light comes on that gives you permission to spend said savings.

The mind freed of the cost of paying for two books happens to pop into TK Maxx and just happens to perchance upon a Vera Wang navy blue dress and just happens to purchase said item for £16.99.

Given the said person in question also walked to the library saving a further £2.20 in bus tickets, in girlynomics world the dress actually cost 81p - bargain!
Girlynomics is about redistributing personal wealth. It also factors in unit cost per wear. Unit cost per wear is a useful element of girlynomics when you need to make a serious purchase. Taking the price of the item and dividing it by the number of days you will use it gives you the daily cost per wear amount. A £575.00 handbag used for 5 days a week over twelve months actually cost £2.21 per day. (575 divided by 52 (£11.05) then divided by 5 =£2.21)

Even though the economy is experiencing a shift and potentially a downturn, the sale of handbags is up. Truly, girl power will save us all. If the girls keep buying, people will still be in work in the UK and across the globe. Whilst the men folk deal with having less of a disposable income by cutting back on spending – how many Xboxes do you need? The women folk will, on the whole, cut back a bit but not stop. After all there is no answer to how many shoes does a woman need. Girlynomics is a good system to attribute income and expenditure in a different way. In marketing terms, early adopters or hunters are the target group for many a campaign. Typically men are identified as early adopters of technology and new products. Every campaign will try to sang this group to make them spend. Think new tvs, mobile phones, Play Station, Xbox and iPod. Yet quietly with no fuss and stealth, women are consistently early adopters. We are the hunters of the world of new clothes, food, diets; exercise and beauty products. It is no surprise that the success of Wii is due to taping into this economic world of purchasing. MBTs and Fit Flops are great examples of get the product right and women are the perfect model of early adopters. TBC...

High Street pick of the week

For this weeks recommendation I have to redirect you to The Guardian's Weekend magazine and a piece by Jess Morley-Carter. It's the Zara faux snakeskin jacket and whilst I can't abide a live snake or real snakeskin, a bit of faux is fine with me!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jun/13/fashion-snake-leopard-cartner-morley

Enjoy!

Birthday Queen of Charity Shops.

Now I've been thoroughly enjoying Mary Portas's latest programme Mary Queen of Charity Shops on the BBC.

image from BBCi

However in bloggy world we know that the true Queen of Charity Shops is Sharon Rose so I couldn't resist a little interview for her views on Mary and charity shop shopping. Not to mention our Sharon is also a birthday girl today!

How many times a week do you frequent a charity shop?

Up to 5 times a week.

Which is your favourite local charity shop?

My Local Sue Ryder Care, which is less than 10 minutes walk away.

Which charity shop would you go and help?

One in another town, to see new faces as I'm very familiar with all the ones in my local town!!

Which do you think offers the consumer better value for money charity shop or car boot?

Boot Sales offer better bargains, especially for 50p to £3, but you do really have to rummage for them. Charity shops in my area aren't too dear and offer a wide variety at reasonable prices, generally anything from £2-£10, depending on the item.

Would you change the pricing in a charity shop(i.e. do you think too expensive or too cheap)?

I think the charity shops in my town and surrounding areas are priced just right, even for a good quality item, I rarely pay more than £8. London charity shops are expensive in my opinion, for high street items especially. I understand how Mary wanted to place expensive items in a shop for a lot more money-I'm not sure how this would work on a long term basis, especially when volunteers are unfamiliar with designer names. Items may be better off being auctioned on ebay by the charity, I know a lot of the charities work this way now.

How motivating do you think Mary Portas is?

I love her, I think she has a great attitude, but I suppose it must be hard for her when a lot of the old dears are stuck in their ways of working and methods-but she is giving it a go, much needed in some areas, I think! I really enjoyed the programme on Tuesday night, it's great because I can really see her vision and where she wants her shop to be, but there is also the other side of it regarding the volunteers and what they can do, considering they don't get paid and what's expected of them. Very interesting indeed!

If you had to work with one of the Orpington old dears who would you choose?

I love Leila, a great sense of humour!! Brenda and Graham are too set in their own ways I think!

Have you every volunteered in a charity shop?

No, I've debated it, but I've decided its just as good to buy from them and donate things regularly too. I will never say never though.

What top tip would you give to a charity shop virgin?

Expect the unexpected, be prepared to have a good rummage and stock up on key quality items, such as jeans, jackets and dresses. Oh, and always look at other items even if you're not intending to buy them. Yesterday afternoon, I went looking for costume jewellery, but because I look and scan most different items, I scored a gorgeous fluid jersey beige DKNY dress for only £4.99, which fits like a glove!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARON-ROSE!!

Old habits die hard

One thing I've noticed when I go and do a wardrobe workout/detox/sort out for a client is how there is always a repeat pattern. By this I mean one item that gets repeated several times. Whether it be many black trousers, white shirts or little black dresses or in my case umpteen stripy t-shirts, repeat buys are a major problem.

The other issue is too much stuff. I think most people have managed to work out that they wear a small proportion of their wardrobe all of the time. This only happens if you have too much. Now I used to be a major hoarded of my clothes and have heaps of them but lots of moves (including a stint in Greece) and a boyfriend who cut my clothes up and put the rest out for the bin men (yeah I know the worst thing is my mum knew before me as I was oblivious to the whole event as was hung over with my girlfriends in Aberystwyth, mile away from my cosmopolitan city flat.) put an end to it all.

True, I do miss some of my items and wish I could reclaim them but on the whole I just make do as much as possible and that means using my clothes as much as possible. I prefer to give them a good free range life as opposed to a battery hen existence in drawers and wardrobes. I have one drawer, admittedly with too many stripy tees, and one wardrobe with all my clothes in. I no longer put things away for summer or winter as so many items trapeze the seasons.

I'm also looking forward to having a fellow stylist come round and check my wardrobe out, I like to think I'll be cool with this! I do feel I need another perspective as it can inject fresh opportunities for ones own style.

Last year I started a writing a book that attracted an agent and since ...well who knows it could be sat in the agent's bin or at the bottom of the pile at a publishing house but hey these things happen ...so over the next few weeks I'm going to give you some highlights of Girlynomics © - it is copyrighted!

However, tomorrow we'll start with an interview with a fellow blogger on a very topical item! 'Fraid I don't have a trailer to run...

Cheap update

My biggest weakness is rings. I love to have a new costume ring quite often and tend to stick to the reasonable offerings on the high street given my magpie tendencies. Much as I'd like to be popping to Chanel or Yves San Laurent for their costume pieces getting bored of a ring after a week or two would be a costly affair.
I have one friend whose been a loyal keeper of a beautiful costume ring and wears it every day. Me, I mix it up, one day I'm sporting a £6 number from Dorothy Perkins, another my Cartier Love ring.

Thank goodness for Oasis for providing me with a £14 dilemma on whether to go for a nude pink or a turquoise number!

Anyone for tennis?

It's nearly time for Wimbledon and it is the home of the grass courts and tennis whites.

Oh and strawberries of course. Now when I think of Wimbledon I feel all 1930s and Ralph Lauren. Good old RL appropriated the sportswear of the bourgeoisie of middle England and made it his own. It was a faux vision probably of the Surrey courts aided by a whimsical Chanel, Wallis Simpson and Nancy Mitford, maybe RL even picked up a Richmal Compton's Just William.

Why Mr Lauren has even produced some tennis wallpaper .

As well as designing the costume for the umpire and ball boys/girls, Ralph attires Roger Federer who dons the epitome of good tennis taste for Wimbledon channelling Fred Perry a veritable 1930s tennis star all in long whites.

Given the excuse to dress up in all white I would stay British despite Mr Lauren's wonderful hard work and look to arrive in a Vivienne number. I spotted this little beauty on my-wardrobe.com

Anglomania White Plain Square Dress £270.00

Random retail head gear

I was reminded of this Face magazine 1990 photo shoot by Corinne Day when I was browsing in Topshop Oxford Circus because on sale were feather headdresses like this Native Indian one worn by Kate Moss in this photo.

Why they were there amongst the trilbies I know not but I was actually very tempted! I'll let you know if I end up sporting one.

High Street pick of the week

This is sheer indulgence choice - if I were going to Ascot then this is the dress I would wear. I love the mix of the beige silk material, blue sequins and the unconstructed cut allowing much posing in front of the mirror to perfect the tying of the belt.

Jigsaw beaded panel silk dress £239

Neat freak

When I was doing my styling stint in Watford I realised what a neat freak I am. I find untidy shops very annoying. Imagine my horror at having to work in Primark for a couple of hours styling ladies in jeans. I set about organising my crib pronto!

They may be cheap but there's order in them rails!

Malfunction

And not of the wardrobe kind! Just when I get back into my blogging stride my computer cable decides to blow up. Thankfully not my computer (note to self backup asap).

Hence all quiet on posting and comments. I do love how every stores answer to I need a new lead for my computer was order one over the internet. Durr as if I didn't know about internet shopping but guess what my computer isn't charged 'cos my power cable has blown up.

I'm using the college PC area to quickly post and made Mr MDS shop the internet for a new lead.

Short shrift

Imagine my joy when Shane Watson gave her full backing to the wearing of shorts! It is a fact I always have a favourite journalist. For years every Saturday I would eagerly await the Weekend Guardian magazine for Julie Burchill's column. When she decamped to The Times magazine on a Saturday I didn't follow. By then I was fixed with my Saturday Guardian purchase. Luckily Shane Watson eventually filled the gap with her column in Style Magazine in The Sunday Times.

I still remain loyal to Lisa Armstrong on a Wednesday in The Times and defer to her on all manner of things fashion and I must confess to Jess Morley-Carter growing on me over the years but it is Shane that amuses me with her pronouncements on life.

Her do's and dont's are amusing particularly as I'm guilty of the khaki shorts with pockets aka geography field trip numbers. I'll ignore this given they look good and are jolly useful for accompanying the petit garcon out and about. The trick is to wear them with a white shirt in the style of style icon on a mission - think Audrey Hepburn, plus add ornate flats or espadrilles. To counter the pedestrian khaki shorts I have a fab short trusty white pair from Oasis many years ago, that work equally well with flats or heels. I must admit to being tempted by these flirty floral ones from Topshop.

Floral Shorts £32 Topshop

What is a concern is the legs. This is true for lots of women when veins rise to the surface and bruises seem to languish for eons. The answer is MAC face and body foundation mixed with strobe cream to give legs a more youthful sheen.

Anyway I'm off to take petit garcon to his swimming lessons in my geography field trip shorts but they are not a patch on his Ben 10 t-shirt!