Just when you think you've got your wardrobe sussed (even with no funds) along comes an article to turn it upside down again!
Now I'm not predisposed to walking the streets in high heels and towelling shorts but I'm not a grown up gal. I definitely have a younger than I am dress sense so when Shane Watson (one of my favourite columnists) made a few pronouncements I didn't know what to think - is she right?
You can read the whole article here but below is the dos and don'ts!
'THINGS YOU SHOULD DITCH BEFORE YOU ARE 40
- Glitter make-up
- High-street jewellery
- Tiered skirts
- Hairbands and bandanas
- Ankle bracelets
- Rock-band T-shirts
THINGS YOU SHOULD GET INTO BY THE TIME YOU ARE 40
Grooming Now it’s not so much grooming as survival: a single stray hair on your lower leg will look like decay.
Waxing your moustache Unless it really is a downy bit of blonde, for God’s sake do it. Bleaching only advertises the lady tache.
Pedicures Even if you are hairy as a bear under your clothes, a pedicure suggests that all is shipshape and tidy.
Proper specs Boots’ £3 jobs make everyone look like Great Uncle Bulgaria.
Big sunglasses These should be worn whenever possible. Not only do they do wonders for disguising fine lines, but in a pair of Oliver Peoples, you, too, can be an A-list star hunted by paparazzi.
Colour You can’t get away with a plain white T-shirt any more.
Feminine Even the poster girls for utility dressing soften up in their mid-thirties and add a bit of detail — you could start with some earrings.
Make-up Go easy, but the days of getting an eyelash tint and leaving it at that are numbered.
Ironing You need to be totally crease-free yourself to get away with crumpled clothes.
Exercise You really should. I fully intend to.
SO ARE YOU GOOD FOR YOUR AGE?
Yes, if you can say:
- I can touch my toes.
- I draw the line at leggings.
- I have my own teeth.
- I have stopped home-dyeing my hair.
- I only have friends who make me laugh.
- I still buy albums.
- I crave fashion (sometimes).
- I own nothing beige.
- I never compromise on shoes.
- I have danced in the kitchen in the past six months.
No, if you would say:
- I still want to look like Sarah Jessica Parker.
- I never eat carbs after 6pm.
- I sometimes wear over-the-knee socks with heels.
- I lie to everyone about my age.
- I never touch my face with my hands because it is bad for the complexion. (This is something Glenn Close once told me in an interview. I have, literally, never got over it.)
- I won’t allow animals in my house.
- I am always in bed by midnight.
- I need my own room.
- I cannot see the point of ear-splittingly loud music.'*
So, at the tender age of forever 21, ehem (cough) I feel doomed on the basis of I do still quite like looking like SJP or more realistically Carrie - in a kooky sense when the whim takes me, I've always worn over the knee socks with heels and flats but have been trying to ween myself of this one. I don't lie about my age I never mention it ('cept above!). And I sort of like Madonna in her skirt with those lace leggings., well actually I did. High street jewellery is such fun and cheap but I thinks she's got a point. Oh crikey (I'm holding to my resolution) what's a gal to do! I absolutely love Susie Bubble and her style expression and experimentation; in my head I'm still like that, but on the other hand I think should I become the sort of grown up sexy type of the Yasmin Le Bons of the world - questions, questions oh drat!
*© Shane Watson 2009. Extract taken from How to Meet a Man After Forty and Other Midlife Dilemmas Solved, published January 15 (Penguin £7.99). Buy it for £7.59 (inc p&p) through the Sunday Times BooksFirst on 0845 271 2135 or at timesonline.co.uk/booksfirst